


Wasteland, Baby!

by prettyboyblades



Series: So Sure in Your Devotion [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eventual James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts Era, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, Post-War, Pre-War, Songfic, The Prank, song included
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 09:50:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21426256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyboyblades/pseuds/prettyboyblades
Summary: Ever wondered what made the marauders so tightly knit, or maybe even what factors led to the close relationship between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: So Sure in Your Devotion [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544662
Kudos: 7





	1. Every Great Tale has to Start Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to there is a remix to how Wasteland, Baby! sounded to me as i wrote this small fic on my soundcloud  
https://soundcloud.com/smittensungod  
pr*ttyboy  
It should be titled Wasteland, Baby! but...  
Thank you So Much for reading!

** _Wasteland, baby_ **

** _I'm in love, I'm in love with you_ **

Picture two young boys so utter obsessed with each other, yet, still, so dynamically individual. Never once do their personalities waver along the line of what is Sirius and Remus. There is always just Sirius and Remus. Sirius  and Remus. Words that rarely neglect to follow one after the other, as if constantly playing follow the leader without anyone ever having instructed them to. The type of boys that boys will be boys always means genuine shenanigans and absolute malarkey. Best friends who know where the others soft spots are and how to pull the sadness right out of the other’s chest, without anyone ever having to admit something is wrong. Sirius and Remus have always been the type to cause others to wish with every piece of themselves that they too could experience a love so genuine and true. Because, yes, Remus loves Sirius, and, yes, Sirius loves Remus. The type of love that would wait years at train station, even if there was no hope of that train coming back home. Remus and Sirius are best friends, and they always will be.

** _All the things yet to come are the things that have passed_ **

** _Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass_ **

** _Like the bonfire that burns at all worth in the fight fell too_ **

Picture instead, a young boy so torn apart from the things he’s never quite experienced the right way. The one who only knows how to be unloved and uncherished, especially when it comes to those who only job was to adore and cherish him. A boy who sat silent and wished, that maybe, just maybe, he might turn out okay. One who boarded a train without a kiss from his mother, or a farewell from his father. Just a stern look, clap on his back, and then, finally, hissed, “Don’t you  **dare** embarrass me boy.”

As he tipped toed softly through compartment after compartment, knowing much better than to draw attention to himself as that only leads to disaster, he wishes once more that maybe, just maybe, he won’t turn out like them. A boy who sat in a compartment all by himself, only to be greeted by the very same boys who would later throw his life into the biggest whirlwind he’d ever experienced.

Messy haired James Potter, and quiet, yet still sneaky, Peter Pettigrew. Unabashedly talkative. The ones who decided to give that boy a chance, even if they had heard the whispers about his family. Whispers the boy knew to be true, ones that would set any rightful family heir with the most confidence. However, instead of having a puffed chest, Sirius slouched, shrank, and tried his hardest to disappear. At the end of this train ride, he knew it was time to bid his new friends goodbye. He knew there was no way he could end up with the loud boy in Gryffindor, even if he so desperately wished there was. Because, what better way to disrupt a stoic family line than to be placed in the one house any respectable slytherin hated most. Sadly, due to years of unfulfilled wishes, Sirius knew better than to dwell on dreams.

Potter and Pettigrew earned themselves both seats at the Gryffindor table, and little Sirius couldn’t help but smile, although a bit sadly, at their triumphant faces. A smile that quickly faded from his face the second his name was called.

** _Be known in its aching_ **

** _Shown in the shaking_ **

** _Lately of my wasteland, baby_ **

Never once had Sirius dared to imagine the sorting hat’s loud call would deem him a Gryffindor. For a moment, He almost thought he’d imagined the sound entirely, but as he looked wide-eyed at the Slytherin table, filled with relative after relative, to their harsh, stone-cold faces sneering back at him. The boy felt as if he’d been punched with the echoed, “I told you he was the weird one in the family.”

And the soft, “I hope he hasn’t ruined poor little Regulus.”

Or “Well, I do hope that Walburga has some sort of plan to knock him into shape”

There was nothing so bittersweet. Because, yes, he had done it. He was just different enough to be a Gryffindor, but he couldn’t help but dwell on the things his mother might say. However, he took his place next to James and Peter, and almost basked in pride at James’ muttered, “I knew you weren’t like the rest of that lot.” One feast later, and a small journey up into the dormitories. James said, “You know, I think the three of us are going to be the greatest friends.”

And that was all it took to send Sirius’ little heart beating. Being friends with James might just make up for his family’s label of family disappointment. 


	2. What Did you Bury?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learn more about Sirius and Remus. Tw: speculated and inferred abuse

** _Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking_ **   
** _Though quaking, though crazy_ **   
** _That's just wasteland, baby_ **

Never in his wildest dreams had Sirius imagined he’d find friends to love him unconditionally, much less ones who were just as prone to mischief. With the three of them, countless hours of detention were always worth it. He and James were practically attached at the hip, while Peter trodded along happily beside them. Late night conversations, sometimes filled with the details of their next prank, always followed long detentions. Despite everyone’s opinions, the boys were actually quite intelligent. How else could they plan such articulate pranks? Throughout all of the barking laughter swallowing their midnight meetings, the fourth bed in their dorm’s curtains stayed tightly shut and quiet. Sirius couldn’t help but ponder what lay behind them.   
The daily routine continued like this for months. Until one night James showed up a little later than usual with a dreamy look in his eyes. It was then Sirius knew that James really was a Potter. The Potter family had always fancied red-heads, and just as he suspected that was exactly what James revealed to them. In a hushed whisper he muttered, “Boys, I think I might be in love.”  
Sirius let out an exasperated sigh. “How could you know? I’m almost certain you just met the bird.”  
“But this time it’s different. You guys don’t understand she’s just so…”  
“Shaggable?” Sirius interjected.  
“No! Well, yes, but that’s not what i’m getting at here. She’s perfect.”  
Sirius turned to peter dramatically, “Peter, my boy, I think he’s finally lost it.”  
Peter just continued to stare open mouthed and shocked. James rolled his eyes, “That’s rich coming from you, Sirius. Like we haven’t heard of the Black Family Madness.”  
“Oi. Watch it, Potter.”  
“I’m only teasing, Sir.”  
It was then that Peter finally decided to interject her two cents, “But doesn’t Lily Evans hate us. She thinks we’re no good hooligans. And she’s much smarter than us, James. I can’t possibly see how you could win her over.”  
“Peter, must you really have so little faith in me? I’ll manage just watch. I’m sure she secretly loves us.”  
“Hah! Sure, James, and if that’s true then McGonnagal fancies me as well.”  
“Oh fuck off, tosser.”   
Sirius’ laugh was cut short as a pillow came flying towards his face. Suddenly, the door flung open and a disheveled boy stood still in its doorway. “Uh. Can I help you any? I’m not signing autographs right now, but you can come back tomorrow and I might be,” Sirius said with a twinkle in his eyes.  
“I- uh- I-,” the strange boy mumbled.  
“Well, Come now. We haven’t all night to wait for your so ever eloquent reply. Spit it out.”  
“-I- l-live here. In the fourth bed I mean. I’ve never really spoke before. I-i thought you’d be asleep.”  
“Well. Where have you been mysterious roommate?”  
The boy’s face paled out. “I-i was just visiting my Grandmother. She’s quite sick.”  
Sirius raked his eyes of the boy. He was scrawny looking, almost as if he didn’t eat much, and he looked almost as if he’d been roughed up. Sirius furrowed his eyebrow, “Are you sure? Because if some Slytherins decided to beat you up, we’d make sure to get revenge on your behalf. Even if we don’t know you that well, no Slytherin messes with a Gryffindor on our watch.”  
The boy’s eyes went wide. He stuttered out a small, “No- No- It’s- I mean- I’m not injured. I’m fine, no revenge necessary. I- uh. Thanks for the concern though.”  
The room was deathly silent. All laughter from earlier abandoned. The boy spoke once more, “I-uh should probably get to bed, long journey and all.”  
Sirius looked back up at the boy, “Oh, yeah. Of course. Might you indulge us with your name. Since, we are in fact living in the same dorm, and maybe in return we’ll keep quiet.”  
The boy paled out once more, Sirius was starting to lose track of how many times that had happened. “R-remus,” He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably, “Remus Lupin.”  
“Well, It’s nice to meet you, Remus Lupin. Goodnight.”  
After Remus returned to his bed, and quickly shut the curtains. Sirius turned to James and Peter. “Oh I see. Just let me carry the whole conversation then, eh?”  
“Well. You looked as if you had it all under control from my point of view.”  
“Shove off, James,” His voice dropped to a whisper, “Don’t you think he’s a bit strange?”  
“A little,” mumbled Peter, never one for being too harsh.  
“Sorta,” said James.  
“Think we need a fourth member, boys?”  
“You think he’d be interested?”  
“Of course, why wouldn’t he be? This isn’t like you and Evans. Plus, he looks smart. And we all know we could use some extra brain power for some of these pranks.”  
The boys laughed. And slowly, but surely, went to bed.

_ **All the fear and the fire of the end of the world** _   
_ **Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl** _   
_ **Happens great, happens sweet** _

Months later, Sirius, James, and Peter, had finally wiggled their way into Remus’ life. From then on, three became four. It was quite rare to see them without each other, unless, of course, Remus was in the library, or around Lily. Yes, it was true that Lily wasn’t quite to found of these boys, excluded Remus. “They’re just all so arrogant, and self interested. It drives me mad. I can’t believe they roped you in as well. Remus, you’re so much better than that.”  
Remus laughed, and shook his head, “they’re different than you think, Lily.”  
The pair ended the conversation and their study session there, and made their way swiftly to the Gryffindor common room. Remus’ foot had only touched the rug of the common room’ floor for a second, when he was greeted by an over enthusiastic Sirius. Sirius had never really quite forgotten Remus’ excuse of visiting his Grandma, and had ever since kept track of what state Remus’ returned in. At this rate, he was starting to fear Remus was being treated quite poorly at home. Always returning covered in bruises, scrapes, and even large bandages. The oldest Black has decided that the best way to ascertain the state of his newest friend was to be touchy, in a brotherly type of way, and to watch carefully for a wince or flash of pain across Remus’ features. Sirius knew what it was like to hide the pain, suffering, and injuries from your closest friends. He knew exactly what to look for, where best to hide the secrets one wishes to keep to themselves, and how best to extract them from another. Ever since his sorting, Sirius’ family had become much worse than he ever remembered. The details of which he’d keep stored away, next to the exploded howlers his mother had sent every week since then, ones he opened alone at night next to the lake. There was nothing Sirius hated more than pity, plus, he knew his family was right. He was a traitor, but there was nothing that could be done about the situations he went through at home.  
Months went by as Sirius continued to exercise this experiment. Sirius had decided that his potions class was not an apt way to spend his evening, and told Peter and James that he would be skipping this afternoon’s lecture. Making his way up the stairs to the dorm, planning to take the best nap of his entire life, he was met with something he didn’t quite expect to see. There stood Remus, clearly having just arrived back from visiting his “Grandmother.” Sirius opened his mouth to speak, when he noticed something peculiar about Remus. Remus had his back turned towards Sirius, but Sirius could still see the pale, silvery scars that covered it. Some were large, jagged, and red, while others were healed and shiny. Sirius jaw dropped. He must have been correct in his suspicions, there was no other possible explanation for the expanse of wounds and injuries Remus seemed to have. He had half made up his mind to go straight to Dumbledore, when Remus suddenly turned towards him. Remus’ shoulders tensed, and he seemed to be struggling for something to say.   
“Why did you lie to me?”  
“What?”  
“That night you showed up in the dorm, and I asked if you had been hurt. Why did you lie?”  
“I- uh,” Remus’ voice wavered, “I didn’t.”  
“Yes, you did. I can see that you’ve been hurt. Remus, we have to tell Dumbledore. He can help. This isn’t okay, they shouldn’t be hurting you.”  
“Sirius. Stop you don’t understand what you’re talking about.”  
“Yes i do, Remus, I know that you might feel like you can’t tell anyone, trust me, I do. I understand. You can. Why didn’t you tell us? Remus, please, we could have helped. We can’t just let you suffer like that.”  
“Sirius, p-please, j-just drop it,” Remus’ eyes had begun to pool with tears, each closer to falling than the last. Remus knew that once he started crying, he wouldn't be able to stop. He also knew that he couldn’t tell Sirius. He couldn’t risk losing the only good things he had. “Sirius. This has to stay between us. Promise you won’t say anything to anyone, not even James.”  
“I-i I can’t do that. You’re being hurt. You’re my friend I can’t just sit back and watch that happen.”  
“Oh. So when you’re the one being hurt it’s different, it’s okay if we don’t talk about it, except in hushed whispers. Did you think we didn’t notice, Sirius? Why should this be an exception, you don’t even know what you’re talking about. I’m asking for one favor, Sirius.”  
“I didn’t know that anyone knew,” Sirius whispered, already feeling his chest begin to tighten. If anyone knew, he was going to be in so much more trouble. His father would turn to far darker means of punishing Sirius. The kind of curses that left marks. He looked down, defeated, “I won’t say anything if you don’t.”  
Remus nodded curtly, “Thank you, and if you ever want to talk about whatever they do to have you waking up screaming, please, don’t hesitate to come to me.”  
“Yeah, right, Remus,” Sirius let out a hollow laugh, “Why would I tell you anything when you don’t tell us anything.”  
Remus looked sadly at Sirius, “You don’t understand, it’s different.”  
“Then enlighten me.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Then goodbye, Remus. Tell James and Peter I’ve gone home for the holidays, tell them it’s some sort of last minute plan. Tell them anything. Whatever you want.”  
“Sirius, wait!”  
But it fell on deaf ears, Sirius was already making his way down to Dumbledore’s office. He planned to ask to be sent home. Anything to keep himself from looking James in the eyes, knowing that he knows. That they all knew. That they never said anything. But most importantly, to keep his mind off of Remus.


End file.
